CAN'T YOU PAINT SOMETHING NICE FOR ONCE?!
HI DENISE! I'm hoping you've got a warped sense of humor........
"Le Travail D'un Imbécile Heureux"
(The Work of a Blissful Imbecile)
Robert Craig: One Man Exhibition
Le Galerie Adler
75 rue du Faubourg Saint- Honor'e- 75008 PARIS
June 30-September 4
http://www.galerieadler.fr/
I will be present June 28-July 4. For those of you who know me….. have your cameras ready ….. For those of you who don't….. A fashion tip….a mouth piece and a cup might be in order. for I'll not disappoint. Not you and certainly not the French Authorities.
I'm somewhat handicapped this time though. I'm not allowed to have any reference to Jesus or Swastikas in my subject matter. Just as well…. it was getting to be a crutch anyway.
Okay….. I'm back and I'm all better now. I've been released from Benedictine Hospital on my own recognizance because I've learned my place.
No more misanthropic misbehavior, no irrational, imaginings of individuality, creativity, originality, or integrity.
I was misguided to feel that my constant Shameless Exhibitionism and Sadistic Sarcasm was fun. I shudder to think that myself and so many you actually derived pleasure from that unacceptable,unconventional, and most definitely politically incorrect behavior. it was all so clearly a cry for help.
But I've atoned and beg you to join me in righting our wrongs.
Let us now begin to grasp the wisdom of conforming to the norm. Let us be average and wallow in the magnificence of the mundane.
We can all stand tall knowing that we have absolutely not one ounce of courage as we proceed to follow one another aimlessly and anywhere, without question and realize fear for what others might think should we do otherwise.
Whenever asked for our honest opinion…Forget all this nonsense of integrity and just tell them what they want to hear…. After all….. that's why they ask.
I myself, am doing quite well on this point. the last time I was asked: "Does this make my ass look fat?" It was was difficult but, I managed to choke back my usual reply of:
"NO… I THINK IT'S YOUR FAT ASS THAT MAKES YOUR FAT ASS LOOK FAT!"
I'm hoping to reach the very heights of cowardice by immediately doing any and everything anyone ever asks me to do…especially when asked by total strangers.
AND! You're all in for a big treat! Because… as THE NEW ROBERT CRAIG, I'll no longer selfishly Paint What "I" Want to Paint….Not What My Mind Conceives….
… I'm now determined to paint only what you tell me to… when you tell me to.
So… just as soon as I can get to it…. I'll remove all these infantile images and replace them with whatever brilliance derives from your tiny little fucking, rubber pin heads.
My work has nothing to do with you. I don't know or care one iota who does or doesn't get off on my work because I do. I ask you…..
WHY ARE YOU AT THIS SITE RIGHT NOW?
DID I ASK YOU TO COME? DID I INVITE YOU?
DID I TAKE OUT AN AD? DID I CALL, EMAIL, I.M, SKYPE OR SUGGEST TO YOU IN ANY WAY THAT YOU LOOK AT OR GIVE YOUR OPINION OF MY WORK?
………. NO!
However I'm about to rectify that and add that I'm most grateful and genuinely honored that you do come.
I'm not going to ask that you come see me at my next exhibition….
I'm going to ask if you will be so kind as to come and allow me to meet 'you'……
Thank you and ask you "Why?"
WHY DO YOU LOOK AT THIS STUFF….. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Why Do So Many Of You Buy It? What Is It's Value To You?
I'll Tell you where and when I'd like to ask you these things but not before I answer a couple of stupid questions asked by the more dim amongst you.
The answers will make clear the questions posed to me:
A: I am my favorite painter and human being.
If I felt I admired another painter more than myself…. I'd paint what he paints. And I weren't my favorite person……. I'd do the identity theft thing and take it a step further by slitting open the skin the person I admire most at the spine… Hollow him out ….Crawl inside inside the vacant carcass and wear my hero as a costume.
I HONESTLY FEEL SORRY FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU THAT ISN'T ME.
Okay, You Blood Belching Vaginas …Yeeeessss….. That Means You, Fat Head. And Please…..Wipe That Imbecilic Look Off You Face Before I Chew It Off.
I know it's a stretch but, try to mimic a human and ACHTUNG!! 'Cause here's what my house looks like now. Why I bother to tell you, I'll never know.
"Le Travail D'un Imbécile Heureux"
(The Work of a Blissful Imbecile)
Robert Craig: One Man Exhibition
Le Galerie Adler
75 rue du Faubourg Saint- Honor'e- 75008 PARIS
June 30-September 4
http://www.galerieadler.fr/
I will be present June 28-July 4. For those of you who know me….. have your cameras ready ….. For those of you who don't….. A fashion tip….a mouth piece and a cup might be in order. for I'll not disappoint. Not you and certainly not the French Authorities.
I'm somewhat handicapped this time though. I'm not allowed to have any reference to Jesus or Swastikas in my subject matter. Just as well…. it was getting to be a crutch anyway.